Tiny Joys of Life & Insecurities

I just wanted to talk about 2 topics in a short summarized way.

1. Joy of Tiny Things

2. Insecurities.

1. The Joy of Unnoticed Instances:

I feel like, people experience the pull of ageing once they turn 22-23 years old. And they begin to notice the bigger, more heavier problems in life.

They focus on solving their "Big Problems", which is a good thing, but tend to loose notice of the smaller happiness they come across in their day. 🤷‍♂️

I have been stressed and sleepless beyond belief for the last 2 weeks and I think its because of overthinking about situations and troubles. (along with weird ass dreams about the people I know)

But yesterday I was especially exhausted and so irritable that I could feel smoke coming out of my body.

All that changed when I was riding back home and I saw this little kid who was peeking out from the backside of a car window. 🏍️

He was watching everyone who were following him.

And he saw me.

He smiled, which immediately made me smile back.

Then the kid started making funny faces while he was still smiling.

I made some faces at him and it was a feel-good interaction.

And man....

That 20 seconds made all the troubles of the day seem so small. 😌

I came back home and started thinking why that made me feel so happy. And when have I felt that way before?

Where a very small part of the day made the whole day feel better.

Here were a few instances (maybe you could relate) 👇

• When someone gives me a compliment about my work (art, writing) or way of thinking.

• When I see kids being kids.

• When I help someone with something.

• When I have a good heartfelt conversation with someone.

• When I clean my room, read a book and water plants.

• When I give my mom a hug after a long day.

• When I have an intense workout session.

• When I write a newsletter.

• When I give someone a gift.

• When I hear someone doing frickin amazing in my social group.

• When I have unexpected conversations.

I realised, I do most of these things almost every week.

So why didn’t I notice them before? 🤔

I think its because, when you focus on getting to a goal or focus on tackling a problem, you tend to miss out on seeing and smelling the flowers along the way.

Today, I woke up with a sense of understanding that there are nice things around me that are so small I might miss noticing them.

And whenever I feel the urge to get angry, or if I’m irritated, I am gonna take a second to pause and notice those tiny instances of happiness. 💐

And if things like these can make your day, doing the same to others could make theirs. And a little word of encouragement, an unexpected conversation, a small gift, a little gesture of kindness goes a long way.

If only everyone could see, and I mean actually SEE the good things they have around them, they would appreciate their day better.

2. Insecurities

This is a topic I am familiar with ever since I was a kid.

No one really truly understands that everyone around them have their own set of insecurities. 👀

- You might think someone looks frickin' perfect, and they think they have a fat nose.

- You might see someone doing great, while they think they are a failure.

- You might say “Hey, that’s a great outfit”, while they worry about their stretch marks.

I've suffered with acne, crooked teeth, bad dressing sense, social anxiety, being too nice, less money, not having dates, being skinny etc. 🫣

And I realised that nobody gives a flyin' shit about my situation and you cannot make people judge you less.

So the only thing I could control was myself. I made a list of things I can change and I cannot change. (and pretty much everything I faced was able to be changed)

Acne - I started taking care of my skin better (and it’s pretty good now)

Crooked teeth - Got braces and they are all good now too. (will be getting them off in 3 months)

Bad dressing sense - Saw the best dressed folks around me and copied them for a while. Then got inspirations online. (then later added my personal touch to it with accessories I like) Now I dress according to what suits best at what situation. Office? then a set of 4 clothes I repeat. Outside with friends? I could go with variety.

Social anxiety - I learned how to calm myself and listen, instead of being too in my own head(and have improved by magnitudes compared to my old self). Learned about body language, when to talk, when to stop, being honest about my speech etc. (and I’m still learning a lot)

Being too nice - Became more honest about intentions and doing my best to stay completely open.

Less Money - Learning about money and what it actually is and how to handle it from people who are better at it than me. And I’m in a waayyyy better position than I was before.

Not having Dates - Combined with all the things above with some inner mental work, I just became carefree. It weirdly made me more confident, and I tried out different apps, mutuals and went on a decent amount of them last year. (things were preeettty good, but none of them were what I wanted — that’s a different story).

Being skinny - I started eating right, worked out, and I’m not “skinny” anymore. But I’m not “Fit” either (just a little bit of decent muscles) and I’m working on it this year.

And the only thing I couldn’t change was my height — I wanted to be atleast 3-4 inches taller. But I can’t change it, so I completely stopped worrying about it years ago while in college.

Moral of the story: Change the insecurities you can change. And the things you can’t (and I only mean things you TRULY can’t), you should learn to live with them happily with grace.

That would be it for this week.

If you are reading this, know that people love you and there is a version of you inside someone’s head where you make their life happier.

Go on and make more people think that way.

You’ll have an amazing year ahead.

Your’s Lovingly,

Kapil.